Quality #6 - Wisdom

"Wisdom is the knowledge and experience needed to make sensible decisions and judgments, or the good sense shown by the decisions and judgments made from an accumulated knowledge of life that has been gained through experience.

"The quality of wisdom is more than intellectual, and it is in no way related to how much schooling you have. Exercising wisdom requires cutting through the noise of life and tapping into your core beliefs to make thoughtful decisions. Wisdom results from inhabiting all the qualities that came before it.

"A wise woman recognizes when her life is out of balance and summons the courage to act to correct it. A wise woman knows the meaning of true generosity. A wise woman knows happiness is the reward for a life lived in harmony, with courage and grace. A wise woman knows how to summon her courage and do what is right, rather than what is easy."

Suze Orman, "Women and Money"

Quality #5 - Happiness

From Suze Orman's Women and Money.

Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.

When you find the courage to live your life in harmony and balance, when you understand and practice generosity in the truest sense, happiness spontaneously appears. You are open and accessible; you tend to be more optimistic. You approach new challenges with a clear mind that seeks positive solutions. You see possibilities rather than problems.

If you are not happy, then I would ask you to try to find the place in your life where there is discord and not harmony. Then, find the courage to change.

This is such a good exercise! As women, and especially as moms, we sometimes get pulled in a million different directions and we get caught up in pleasing the ones we love. Sometimes we lose ourselves in all the mayhem. It is wonderful to sit down in a quiet place, write down your feelings, and discover where you're out of balance. Just being armed with clarity brings a sense of peace and direction.

Quality #4 - Generosity

"Generosity is when you give the right thing to the right person at the right time -- and it benefits both of you.

"Generosity is a quality that most women can tap into very easily -- maybe too easily, if you ask me. As women, we tend to be overly generous with our time, support, love, and money -- but giving simply for the sake of giving does not match the definition of generosity as stated above.

"To me, honest giving must always observe these six rules:
1. You give something to say thank you and out of pure love. Not to get something back.
2. Whether it is a gift of time, money, or love, you must feel strongly that your gift is an offering.
3. An act of generosity must never adversely affect the giver.
4. An act of generosity must be made consciously. You must be aware of how your gift will affect its recipient and make sure it will not be a burden.
5. An act of generosity must happen at the right time. You must be able to afford your gift, whether it is a material item or the gift of time.
6. An act of generosity must come from an empathetic heart."
Suze Orman, Women and Money

A couple of months ago, I was asked if I would go to Girls Camp. I thought I was being invited to be an adult chaperon in one of the cabins with my girls. Rom and I discussed it, and we realized that it would require a lot of sacrifices for our family at this time -- my health is iffy, we're starting a new business, Romney Jr would have to skip all activities to babysit, we'd have to juggle the kids around a bit -- but, we decided the sacrifices would be worth it for me to have that bonding time with my girls.

Then, I found out that they were putting me in the kitchen. I would only see my girls during mealtimes, maybe. I would be cooking and cleaning all week long. I'd have to get up at 4:30 am to start on breakfast. There would be some flexibility, but I'm sure I'd be embarrassed about not pulling my weight, and I'd overdo it. Suddenly, with this new information, I didn't feel it was worth all our sacrifices at all.

Now, I'm a good soldier -- I say yes to my callings, and I serve wherever I'm needed, and I love whatever they ask me to do. But, after discussing this with Rom, we both decided this was too much. I gathered up all my possible courage, and I called and backed out on it. I gave them plenty of notice, but they still weren't able to fill the position, and some people are still miffed about it. But, I know I did the right thing, and I think it was an important example to my girls that sometimes, you really should say no!

Thoughts on Courage

I was thinking about the quality of courage, and I got a lot of good comments about it. It got me thinking. I realized that the opposite of courage is not fear, but gossip! How many people do you know who are always complaining about their spouse or someone who has done something to upset them? Instead of addressing the problem, they run it by everyone else trying to get sympathy. You think they are asking for advice, but they never act on anything you suggest. I've noticed that with my kids when I catch them gossiping -- it's usually because someone made them mad, but they don't have the skills to talk it out. It makes for good parenting moments.

Quality #3 - Courage

Suze Orman, from Women and Money

Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.

"Courage gives harmony expression. When your thoughts and feelings are one, courage helps you manifest them in the form of words and actions. When you are afraid to speak or act, courage helps you overcome your fear. Courage gives you the ability to speak your truth, even when it is not what others may want to hear."

OK, so last time I shared with you how I had felt out of balance, wanted to restore harmony, and was worried about confronting Rom with some problem I was having. Here's the follow-up excerpt from my journal.

"OK, this is so Rom and my marriage -- right after I had written that last entry, I discussed it with Rom. I basically asked him if he'd be supportive of me trying to bring my life in harmony even if it meant 'rocking the boat.' He responded, of course, with hyperbole and humor, putting me at ease. I then brought up the two things I could think of that had been bothering me. He agreed I was right; I don't know if that means he'll change immediately, but it opens the door to my speaking my mind when it comes up again. And, I realized, I don't need to do any digging, because that was all there was to it. Ah, I married such a good man!"

I've found that every time I get the courage up to say what I need to or act how I need to, the consequences are never so bad as I built them up to be in my mind. I'm still working on it, but at 43, I should be safe enough with myself to do this!

Quality #2 - Balance

From Suze Orman's "Women and Money."
"Balance is a state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound decisions and judgments.
"When your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are not in harmony, it shows up as an imbalance -- you feel agitated, uncomfortable, you sense something is off, so you find it difficult to make rational, calm decisions.
"When you detect an imbalance, you are to stop whatever it is you are about to say or do and investigate the location of it."
Here's an excerpt from my journal once when I was feeling out of balance: I have a great marriage to a wonderful man. I feel it is ungrateful to find fault in him and to want more in my marriage. I am afraid that if I speak up and "rock the boat" that I'll ruin a very good thing.
Next week, I'll tell you what I did about it when I talk about the next quality of a wealthy woman!

Quality #1 - Harmony

The Eight Qualities of a Wealthy Woman, from Suze Orman's Women and Money.

"Harmony is an agreement in feeling, approach, and sympathy. It is the pleasing interaction between what you think, feel, say, and do.

"When you possess true inner harmony, what you think, say, feel, and do is one. When your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are not in harmony, it shows up as an imbalance -- you feel agitated, uncomfortable, you sense something is off, so you find it difficult to make rational, calm decisions.

"You need to pay attention to your feelings. Observe and listen to the words you use -- the actions that you take should be perfect reflections of the thoughts you think. If you maintain this awareness, you will notice when you are out of harmony."

My sister, Lauri, is the perfect example of harmony. She always says what she thinks and feels -- you know exactly where you stand with her. She is real; she doesn't mind if people discover her flaws, and that is what makes her inspiring.