Suze Orman, from Women and Money
Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.
"Courage gives harmony expression. When your thoughts and feelings are one, courage helps you manifest them in the form of words and actions. When you are afraid to speak or act, courage helps you overcome your fear. Courage gives you the ability to speak your truth, even when it is not what others may want to hear."
OK, so last time I shared with you how I had felt out of balance, wanted to restore harmony, and was worried about confronting Rom with some problem I was having. Here's the follow-up excerpt from my journal.
"OK, this is so Rom and my marriage -- right after I had written that last entry, I discussed it with Rom. I basically asked him if he'd be supportive of me trying to bring my life in harmony even if it meant 'rocking the boat.' He responded, of course, with hyperbole and humor, putting me at ease. I then brought up the two things I could think of that had been bothering me. He agreed I was right; I don't know if that means he'll change immediately, but it opens the door to my speaking my mind when it comes up again. And, I realized, I don't need to do any digging, because that was all there was to it. Ah, I married such a good man!"
I've found that every time I get the courage up to say what I need to or act how I need to, the consequences are never so bad as I built them up to be in my mind. I'm still working on it, but at 43, I should be safe enough with myself to do this!
3 hours ago
3 comments:
I find myself working up into a tizzy and being so stressed and when I finally confront the issue it is such a relief I wish I had done it much sooner!
I think it is a blessing to be in a marriage when you can state what is making you unhappy and the other person is willing to hear it and change! Sometimes I have to say it 2,3,10 times, but he does try and I appriciate that quality so much!
I always stew about something for days or even weeks. I get so angry and frustrated. The sad thing is that it hurts our closeness and once I finally do say something, he is so willing to make things better. He just wants me to be happy and is willing sacrifice his ego/pride for that. I wish that I were better about that. I think our good marriages are a real testament to the example Mom and Dad were to us.
I love this. It does take courage to actually confront your feelings and be able to share them with the person that is your partner.
So often we think that we should be able to change our own feelings instead of actually working at compromise.
I have figured out that when I'm angry or frustrated, if I keep it to myself, I continue to be angry and frustrated. If I share and we discuss things, maybe it will change, maybe not, but at least my feelings get acknowledged, and sometimes I can let it go. Sometimes not, but at least I know he knows I'm frustrated!
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