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Monday, July 14, 2008

Quality #4 - Generosity

"Generosity is when you give the right thing to the right person at the right time -- and it benefits both of you.

"Generosity is a quality that most women can tap into very easily -- maybe too easily, if you ask me. As women, we tend to be overly generous with our time, support, love, and money -- but giving simply for the sake of giving does not match the definition of generosity as stated above.

"To me, honest giving must always observe these six rules:
1. You give something to say thank you and out of pure love. Not to get something back.
2. Whether it is a gift of time, money, or love, you must feel strongly that your gift is an offering.
3. An act of generosity must never adversely affect the giver.
4. An act of generosity must be made consciously. You must be aware of how your gift will affect its recipient and make sure it will not be a burden.
5. An act of generosity must happen at the right time. You must be able to afford your gift, whether it is a material item or the gift of time.
6. An act of generosity must come from an empathetic heart."
Suze Orman, Women and Money

A couple of months ago, I was asked if I would go to Girls Camp. I thought I was being invited to be an adult chaperon in one of the cabins with my girls. Rom and I discussed it, and we realized that it would require a lot of sacrifices for our family at this time -- my health is iffy, we're starting a new business, Romney Jr would have to skip all activities to babysit, we'd have to juggle the kids around a bit -- but, we decided the sacrifices would be worth it for me to have that bonding time with my girls.

Then, I found out that they were putting me in the kitchen. I would only see my girls during mealtimes, maybe. I would be cooking and cleaning all week long. I'd have to get up at 4:30 am to start on breakfast. There would be some flexibility, but I'm sure I'd be embarrassed about not pulling my weight, and I'd overdo it. Suddenly, with this new information, I didn't feel it was worth all our sacrifices at all.

Now, I'm a good soldier -- I say yes to my callings, and I serve wherever I'm needed, and I love whatever they ask me to do. But, after discussing this with Rom, we both decided this was too much. I gathered up all my possible courage, and I called and backed out on it. I gave them plenty of notice, but they still weren't able to fill the position, and some people are still miffed about it. But, I know I did the right thing, and I think it was an important example to my girls that sometimes, you really should say no!

1 comments:

Vidal's Nest said...

I don't think it is fair to your family or you to do something just because you feel obligated! I think it is a strength to be able to recognize it is going to be harmful and say no! I struggle with that and then I feel resentful when I don't say no!
Good for you~ and to he!! with the complainers right?
How is your health lately anyhow? I was keeping up with dad on it for awhile, but hadn't heard anything recently. Hope you are taking care of yourself!